Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book Review
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Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book Reviews
Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book Review by
Mike Rogers "Mike R." (Seattle, WA USA)
The "Win Your Child Custody War" book is the best, most comprehensive book on the market. I'm a reviewer for SPARC, a divorce and custody web site (www.deltabravo.net) and we recommend the "Win Your Child Custody War" book before all the others. There's no secret to why we recommend this book so strongly- it's just the best guide to custody issues available anywhere at any price. The breadth and depth of the information is astounding, well-written, and logically arranged. This book is worth 10 times the cover price, and I don't say that lightly.
There is nothing like the "Win Your Child Custody War" book; nothing even comes close. This is, in our opinion, *<b>the</b>* book to have. You'd have to buy about 20 other books just to start to equal the information contained in this one.
(And just in case you're wondering, we have no connection to Pale Horse Publishing, we just think their books stand head-and-shoulders above the rest.)
Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book Review by
Brook Able (Scottsdale, AZ.)
A friend recommend the Win Your Child Custody War manual to help me prepare for psychological and home evaluations. I was very skeptical that one book could cover so much information in such detail. Seeing the 10 home studies and psychological evaluations removed a lot of the "fear of the unknown." I have actually enjoyed much of the reading and many of the examples. The 7 detective reports are amazing. Even if I wasn't so emotionally involved I think I could recommend this book as just good reading.
Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book Review by
Dennis Littrell (SoCal)
Charlotte Hardwick's use of the military metaphor throughout (including a photo of a child in a Marine Corps dress uniform on the cover) is in recognition of two salient facts about custody disputes: they can be psychologically as brutal as war; and the stakes can be extremely high. Yet, as Hardwick details and documents, negotiations are possible, and if the welfare of the child has the highest priority, both sides can win.I would advise you, however, NOT to go into court without having first read this remarkable book. Over the course of 672 doubled-columned pages, Hardwick shares her personal experience and her painfully accumulated knowledge on just about every conceivable aspect of the child custody wars while guiding the reader toward a powerful strategy. If you don't have this book you are likely to be overmatched; indeed if your attorney doesn't have this book, he or she is likely to be overmatched. In fact, I would say that the first thing you should do after reading the book yourself, is buy a copy for your attorney and somehow persuade him or her to open the pages and to start reading--anywhere in the book. I promise you your attorney will learn facts, ideas, strategies new to him or her. The expanse and depth of the material presented here quite frankly amazed me. This extensive tome constitutes an entire course not only in child custody disputes but in human psychology, parenting, and the law itself. Some items:
There are 91 pages citing, summarizing, quoting from, and referencing relevant cases and decisions (Chapter 23).
There is a detailed guide on how to negotiate and what conflict resolution is all about (Chapter 4); a chapter on how to handle discovery and depositions (Chapter 17); another on judges, what to expect from them and how you might get a good one or avoid a bad one; there's guidance on what to expect in court and how to present yourself and your case; how to select an attorney; what your case is likely to cost and how to discover the assets of your adversaries, including (this floored me) hidden assets such as "Overpayments to the IRS" (from a list on page 435). You will learn about how much you can expect to pay or receive in child support, and again how to gauge assets, including hidden income such as "excessive deductions on paychecks" (p. 445)--a nice dodge which amounts to loaning Uncle Sam the money until tax time!
You will also:
--Discover how to handle psychologists and other "evaluators" and influence them to your advantage. For example beware of the "halo effect." (Have your side evaluated by the psychologist first to secure that effect.) (p. 235)
--Understand what psychological tests can be given and what they can mean in the dispute. Sometimes the judge makes the court-ordered decision of a professional binding, so that "you have in fact a new judge." (Chapter 12)
--Appreciate the role of other experts, what they can and cannot do to further your case, and how to evaluate and get a reliable expert who will make an effective witness.
--Learn the value of keeping a detailed log of everything pertaining to your case and its possible use as documentation. Hardwick presents this with some tips on how e-mail and computer files can come back to haunt you if you share the wrong information, even anonymously or through the assumption of an Internet moniker.
--Become knowledgeable about lie detectors and their use and misuse (pp. 137-138) and the reach of DNA testing.
--Know which problems or accusations are issues and which are non-issues in the eyes of the law. For example, child endangerment is an issue; a "blended" family is not. Physical abuse is an issue; false accusations may or may not be. (pp. 26-29)
--Be introduced to the infamous Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in which one parent tries to alienate the child from the other parent through lies and distortions. (p. 190) PAS includes "The Grand Lie" in which one side falsely accuses the other of child sexual abuse, a charge that is hard to become completely free of, regardless of the truth of the accusation. (p. 282)
Hardwick even includes some humor with eleven ways on how to know "You've Been in Court Too Long" on page 97 (from Dean Hughson). If this isn't enough there is a presentation of ingrained psychological strategies that you might use or encounter such as the famous "Tit for Tat" from game theory or the sneaky "Tranquilizer" who lulls you to inattention and then takes advantage. (p. 59)
There is a Glossary of Terms and a detailed Index as well as a lot information on resources throughout including Internet sites on page 103. There's even a chapter on lies and how to correct them (should you be the liar!).
The mass of information and the sharp, sound guidance contained herein really amount to a post graduate course in child custody disputes. Even so I was almost as much impressed with Hardwick's assertive, no-nonsense writing style and organization that managed to painlessly inform while emphasizing a positive approach. Her philosophy is perhaps best expressed in this quote from page 472:
"In truth, if custody is solely decided on what is best for the children, there can be no loser."
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